I now officially hate goodbyes. I've never been good at goodbyes, and I don't think I've ever cried saying goodbye either. "It's not goodbye it's just good night" we say in CISV, and I like that way of putting it. But those days have been to much. I'm really close to start crying right now, and I didn't even leave Cobán yet...

Monday was calm, I even had some time to read and just relax. Tuesday I went to Tactic to say goodbye to some friends there. Mothers who will keep on struggling for themselves and their kids, also when I'm gone. I sat down painting with some of the kids for a while, having a last real chat with their mother. When leaving their house the kids insisted to hold my hands while walking me to the main road. And then I had to leave them there with their mother... When I went to another friends job to say goodbye to her I got to meet her daughter for the first time. At a start the child was pretty shy, but when her mother told her I was the one who gave her the crayons and a book for painting she gave me a huge smile and an even bigger hug. And then I had to say goodbye to them as well...

Today, Wednesday, I've been cooking almost the whole day. But I started the day at the market in the centre to buy everything needed for a typical Swedish dinner... I also had time to join another friend to the prison here in Cobán where one of her best friends has spent his last months, waiting. He is accused for a murder on a person who some people claim is still alive... And then I had to say goodbye to them too...

The hardest part is to answer the question "But when will you come back to Guatemala again?". Today I even had to tell one friend not to ask me that question. I'm sorry, but I really don't know if I'll ever come back. Or, I know I have to, but I don't have a clue about when that will be. 

When a seventeen year old girl, who almost has got no money at all, comes to you in a silent mode, asking again when you'll come back, giving you two pairs of beautiful earrings that she bought for you at the market earlier that day, showing with her whole body that she doesn't want to leave your room and then gives you the biggest hug ever before leaving, how do you react? How do you feel? What do you do? I my self can just try not to show how my stomac hurts and how badly I just want to stay with those beautiful people.

For those of you who might wonder, the dinner was great. The whole big "family" here, sixteen people, where gathered to eat meatballs, potatoes, beetroots, dark bread and strawberry cake. It was really nice, and still I'm the worst when it comes to the goodbye-and-thanks-for-everything-part.

Well tomorrow I'm off. Three days of travels until I'm back in Skåne. If I don't miss the plane at one of my transits in the States... Starting with bus to Guatemala City tomorrow. To make some more goodbyes, leaving a very caring Guatemalan family and one of my very best friends and role models here... If someone is interested in more news from Guatemala in Swedish just tell me, because this friend will stay here as a peace observer for one year and she'll send out very interesting reports every once in a while!

Well well, time to go to bed I guess... I'll be sad tomorrow and it will be a long trip back to Sweden, but at least I know I have a bunch of beautiful people awaiting me there as well. I apreciate you all so much! (And that includes all of you reading this blog, caring about my views, even if you happen to be far away from Sweden...)

Do you notice that I can't even take a proper goodbye here? Well, untill next time! Thank you. Good night.

Postat av: dissertation

Organazing such expeditions is pretty costly thing.

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